Yet another more stressful post

My mom is not easy to work with.
Mostly because she's overworked. I'm so sick of it though. We're ALL overworked.
She's so unreasonable sometimes. I'm so tired of her, I just need to get away.
I wish she could really appreciate me, I wish that she was happy with the stuff I try to do to help her out.
She just doesn't. It's just another thing I did wrong or didn't finish altogether, even if it meant that I washed dishes and let them sit in the rack to dry, well there's the complaint that she has to put them away.
I'm so tired of her.
Something that people will eventually realize is that my mom and I don't match.
We never have been that close.
Close, though, as in living close together.
But we don't exactly like eachother a lot of the time.
I bet right now she's mad at me. I bet she's thinking about how bad or wrong I've been, and I even bet she wishes I was somewhere far away.
She never takes a breath to see what her kids have become, or what they've done, or...or how hard we've tried.
I'm not trying to make her look bad or me to look good, but right now I wish she was more reasonable.
I'm so depressed about it right now.
It won't be long until I'm gone.
I'll be out of here.
She won't know what happened but it will have and maybe then, when I'm not doing all the things I try to do for her, she'd realize how much I did do.
I'm so stressed, frustrated...not even Korn can fix this.
I think I'll linger in the bathroom, just try to fix the only thing that will make anyone happy, which is myself, my face, my hair...
And then, I'll hide in a shield of blankets, mull things over, and probably have a disturbingly violent daydream that doesn't include parents.
;_;
Uhg. I have the lump in my throat.
I wish my mom could see it all.
I wish she understood me. I wish everything I said wasn't a sass, and that everything I do wasn't wrong, and that any time I take to do things wasn't planned wrong.
I'm wrong.
Everything about me is wrong.
I'll never be the person my mom wants me to be.
No one sees it.
Only I do.
Not candy, or Korn, or Disturbed, or Corrosion on Conformity, or anything on my iPod, or any of my video games, or any more snacks, not even soda, not even soda with ice cream, not even pepperoni or chocolate crackers in milk, or cereal...not my iPod touch or being on the computer will help me. I can't even write my book anymore without feeling like a failure. To my mom, I'm a bad student, I don't like to read and that makes her dislike me more, to her I'm irritating and everything I say is wrong...I'm just a failure. Nothing will make mom see the good.
I can't even remember the last time she noticed.
I'm so upset.
I hope she can't find me on this blog. I just want to be alone. i wish there was a friend or something here to make me feel better.
I just want to curl up in my room for a long time. I just want to go on my swing set, with my iPod, with things I want, and just relax. I want my mom to go all day to some place where she wouldn't be bringing home bags of stuff or coming home and having to make dinner, or coming back worrying about something...

I just don't belong. I'm never right. My mom doesn't see the good. If she does, she must just think it's the way I'm supposed to be.

I think I'll TRY and relax. I need some help.
gosh, I wish I was with my friends.
I wish I was at Saveland park with Oliver and Kari and Sarah, and he other kids David, Mariah, Luke, Johanna, Zach, Ethan, Gabe, and others like Stephie. I want to be in their basement watching them kill zombies or be weird with them, or eat cookies out in the park with them, or climb all over stuff, and chase people in a crazy chase that makes us be zombies...and all be together in their house with their adorable dog darting between people...I could just die for that right now... and I wish I was with Stacy. I wish Maria was here with her constant smile....her jokes and her laughs...I wish I could be happy all the time like her.
I don't even get gym class anymore.
I'm so lonely. I'm so depressed. I'm so stressed. I feel like I've done SO much work.
I wish there was someone here.



A very droopy blue jellyfish...going to hide under blankets :C