Man, I put my life in God's hands, and apparently He doesn't seem to like anything that's happening to me at the moment. I don't ever get my way in life, do I?
Screw all those people that I'm thinking of right now who need to fall in a pit with their friends and die.
Screw school and college.
I just want to be left alone.
People hate my personality. People don't like the way I look, or talk (I don't like my voice either, but...), or my tastes.
I have to run after people. I have to start conversations.
I'm done.
I am extremely mad, stressed, ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
I'm breaking out, I have some awkward things going on with friends, I'm forever alone because I'm hated apparently, I' failing life because I have not gotten college prep crap done, I have no clothes for this weather, I'm my own teacher (my fault really), I'm a 24/7 babysitter, and I work my ass off - life sucks.
LIFE SUCKS, AND THEN YOU DIE.
I want a refund on my life if it doesn't change for the better in the next ten years.
I could have it much worse.
But I also could have it much better.
The only solution is to ignore everything and just write.
I just realized that Day versus Night is the book I channel my emotions into. I never write in it when life is good.
That's ten full chapters, 180,000 characters, 45,000 words, 220 pages of emotional shit.
Of course my imagination is a gory pit.
"Take this life...I'm right here, stay awhile and breathe me in." - In Flames
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